Intro -- Kitchen Confidential -- Contents -- Dedication -- Appetizer -- A Note from the Chef -- First Course -- Food Is Good -- Food Is Sex -- Food Is Pain -- Inside the CIA -- The Return of Mal Carne -- Second Course -- Who Cooks? -- From Our Kitchen to Your Table -- How to Cook Like the Pros -- Owner's Syndrome and Other Medical Anomalies -- Bigfoot -- Third Course -- I Make My Bones -- The Happy Time -- Chef of the Future! -- Apocalypse Now -- The Wilderness Years -- What I Know About Meat -- Pino Noir: Tuscan Interlude -- Dessert -- A Day in the Life -- Sous-Chef -- The Level of Discourse -- Other Bodies -- Adam Real-Last-Name-Unknown -- Department of Human Resources -- Coffee and a Cigarette -- The Life of Bryan -- Mission to Tokyo -- So You Want to be a Chef? A Commencement Address -- Kitchen's Closed -- Acknowledgments -- About the Author -- By The Same Author -- Imprint -- Medium Raw -- Dedication -- Contents -- The Sit Down -- 1. Selling Out -- 2. The Happy Ending -- 3. The Rich Eat Differently Than You and Me -- 4. I Drink Alone -- 5. So You Wanna Be a Chef -- 6. Virtue -- 7. The Fear -- 8. Lust -- 9. Meat -- 10. Lower Education -- 11. I'm Dancing -- 12. "Go Ask Alice" -- 13. Heroes and Villains -- 14. Alan Richman Is a Douchebag -- 15. "I Lost on Top Chef" -- 16. "It's Not You, It's Me" -- 17. The Fury -- 18. My Aim Is True -- 19. The Fish-on-Monday Thing -- Still Here -- Acknowledgments -- By the Same Author -- Imprint Page.