Swallow This: The Progressive Approach to Wine -- Title page -- Copyright Page -- Table of Contents -- Introduction -- Acknowledgments -- Chapter 1: Not Another Wine ;Book! -- Chapter 2: There Is No Such Thing as Bad Wine -- Chapter 3: Why the Ratings Are ;Silly -- Chapter 4: Differently Shaped Glasses Are a Waste of ;Money -- Chapter 5: How to Taste Wine -- Appearance -- Aroma -- Taste -- Aftertaste -- Chapter 6: Describing Wine Is for Geeks -- FACGs -- Description -- Advanced Wine Profiling -- How to Mess with a Club Member -- Conclusion of Traditional vs. Progressive -- Chapter 7: I'm Not Happy -- 1. I Live in Arizona -- 2. Climate Change -- 3. Too Many Certified Wine Snobs -- 4. Drinking Wine is Bad for You -- Chapter 8: Wine Basics -- How Wine Is Made -- Sulfites -- Chapter 9: The Grape Varieties -- White Grape Varieties -- Red Grape Varieties -- Chapter 10: The World's Wine ;Regions -- Argentina -- Australia -- Austria -- Chile -- Germany -- France -- Italy -- Spain -- Portugal -- Switzerland -- Eastern Europe -- New Zealand -- South Africa -- Greece -- Canada -- Mexico -- United States -- Chapter 11: All about Sparkling ;Wine -- Types -- Opening a Bottle of Sparkling Wine -- Glassware -- Drinking Sparkling Wine -- Which Sparkling Wine Should You Buy? -- Chapter 12: Sweet Wines -- Fortified Wine -- Other Fortified Wines -- Dessert Wine -- Chapter 13: How Wine Shops Work -- Getting Good Wine Every Time -- Chapter 14: What Wines I Like and How I Buy Wine -- Chapter 15: Does the Vintage Make a Difference? -- Chapter 16: Buying Expensive Wine Is Stupid -- Chapter 17: Wine at Restaurants -- How a Restaurant Would Present a Bottle of Wine -- Sending a Wine Back -- Chapter 18: Matching Food and Wine -- Drink a Wine You Like -- Depending on the Cuisine -- ASSSIF -- The Essence -- When All Else Fails -- Additional Guidelines.

My Favorite Wine and Food Matches -- Chapter 19: Parties -- Bringing Wine to a Dinner Party -- Hosting a Dinner Party -- Glassware -- Hosting a Wine-Tasting Party -- Chapter 20: Tips to Enjoying Wine ;at Home -- When to Drink Your Wine -- Factors that Affect Wine -- Opening Wine -- Decanting Wine -- Proper Serving Temperature -- Wine and Sex -- Getting Wine Stains Out -- What to Do with Wine Leftovers -- Cooking with Wine -- Miscellaneous Hints -- What's the Best Corkscrew? -- How to Keep a Wine Journal -- Chapter 21: Miscellany -- Are Screwtops Better? -- Calories in Wine -- What is Bad Wine? -- Can You Fix a Wine You Don't Like? -- Why Do Some Wines Cost More Than Others? -- Wine and Activities -- Wine Quotes -- Wine Trivia -- Chapter 22: My Arrest for Selling ;Wine -- Chapter 23: Bum Wines -- Cisco - 18 percent alc. by vol. -- MD 20/20 - 18 percent or 13 percent alc. by vol. -- Night Train Express - 17.5 percent alc. by vol. -- Thunderbird - 17.5 percent alc. by vol. -- Wild Irish Rose - 18 percent alc. by vol.